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Rant: 'Auto-glamming' in smartphones snaps

I was given a demonstration of a new smartphone recently. And one of the features – proffered as a benefit – was the ability to auto-Photoshop yourself in snaps.

The process runs like this. You take a snap of yourself. Open the picture editor and show it what you want changed. Yes, please – I’ll have luminous skin and hair, glorious cheekbones, a Hollywood nose – and go on, pep-up the suntan. Then hey presto every time the phone takes my picture it will auto-upgrade me.

Now I can look fabulous in every single picture. Except – hang on – aren’t there a couple of teensy-weensy flaws in this brilliant auto-renovation plan….

Firstly - any friends I get snapped with might be a spot miffed that I’ve emerged straight from my Photoshop makeover. Well, laugh, anyway. And more crucially – people who see this fine improved snap will also meet me in real life.

So, while my glorious fake image may dance happily round the internet. Rubbish old me will still wander round, rain soaked and bedraggled in reality. Um, so, what am I auto-improving for?

To con my own stupid vanity?

I was appalled by this smartphone feature. Truly appalled. If we’ve reached a point where people don’t actively point and laugh at stuff like this something has gone truly awry…

So, I urge you - should you encounter a sneaky upgrader please guffaw freakishly. Then rinse them so hard they never do it again. It will definitely be for the greater good of humanity.        

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